150+ Sword Puns That Cut Straight to the Funny Bone

Why did the sword get promoted? Because it was sharp, dependable, and always made a point.

And just like that pun, we’re about to slice through the seriousness and deliver punny goodness sharper than a katana at a comedy show.

Whether you’re a fantasy fan, medieval enthusiast, or just someone who loves a good “cut-up,” these sword puns are here to duel your dull day with humor.

From classic blade jokes to hilarious one-liners that’ll make any knight giggle, we’ve gathered the most legendary swordplay puns that are truly a cut above the rest.

So grab your armor (or at least your funny bone), and prepare for a pun-filled quest that’ll leave you in stitches—not from battle, but from laughter.

Table of Contents

Classic Sword Puns That Hit the Mark

“En garde your laughter, because these puns come with a point!”

I was going to tell a sword joke, but it’s a bit edgy.
That knight’s jokes? Cutting-edge humor.
I drew my sword, but it just looked like a doodle.
The sword started a podcast—called Blade Runner-Up.
He forged his way into everyone’s hearts.
This pun is double-edged—use with care.
She wanted to join fencing class, but couldn’t handle the pointed criticism.
My sword got arrested for carrying a sharp attitude.
I told my sword a joke—it just couldn’t handle it.
The knight always brought a sword to a pun fight.
I like my humor how I like my swords—well-crafted and a little dangerous.
I challenged him to a duel, but he sheathed himself in silence.
My rapier wit has a sharp tip.
The sword had a splitting headache.
I tried to sleep on my sword—talk about uncomfortable edges.
Swords make terrible comedians. Too much deadpan.
The blade had trust issues—it kept backstabbing.
That was a dagger move, bro.
I’m in a long-term relationship—with my longsword.
Just knight me already—I’m pun royalty.
It’s not about the size of the sword, it’s how you swing it.
My jokes are so sharp, they come with a sheath.
Be careful who you duel with—some swords cut deep.
That sword pun just slashed my expectations.
He got ghosted by his sword—it vanished without a blade-goodbye.
My sword and I? We’ve got a point to prove.
I was forged for greatness—just like my humor.
Cutting someone off in traffic? Only if you’re in full armor.
I don’t carry grudges—I carry a broadsword.

Medieval Knight Sword Puns

“Every pun here is forged in fire and wrapped in chainmail humor.”

That knight was a cut above the rest.
Sir Cutsalot always made sharp remarks.
My armor’s shining, but my sword’s the real star.
They knighted him for his blade—Sir Slice-a-Lot.
Why did the knight bring two swords? Double the pun.
My sword and I are inseparable—we’re practically a swordship couple.
The kingdom laughed when I unsheathed my punchline.
Medieval pickup line: “Is that a sword in your scabbard or are you just happy to joust me?”
Fencing puns? En garde, I’ve got plenty.
I knighted my cat—Sir Scratch-a-lot.
He was such a bad knight, he got de-sworded.
A true knight never skips sword day at the gym.
I told the blacksmith I needed a pun… he handed me a steel-er.
Don’t go stabbing in the dark—use a flashlight and a good pun.
The kingdom needed a hero, but got a pun-slinger instead.
Every knight dreams of a sword that laughs at their jokes.
Who needs a court jester when your sword delivers punchlines?
You know you’re a real knight when your sword tells better jokes than you.
He wasn’t a great swordsman—but he was pun-derful.
She joined the knight’s pun club. It was a cutthroat competition.
The princess fell for his blade wit.
Sword duels weren’t about honor—they were about who had the better punchlines.
The knights banned me from the round table for excessive punning.
Excalibur wasn’t magical—it just told the sharpest jokes in Camelot.
I got knighted for pun-slashing, not monster-slashing.

Sharp Wit and Sword Fencing Fun

“When swords and puns clash, you know it’s going to be a duel of wits.”

The sword fencing tournament was intense—it was a battle of wits and blades.
I tried to fence, but my sword was too pointed at my opponent’s mistakes.
I can’t help but sword through life with humor.
I’m sharpening my wit—my sword’s been looking a bit dull.
Sword fighting is fun, but I always get knighted at the wrong moments.
Want to have a sharp conversation? Just add swords to the mix.
A fencing match? I’m cut out for it!
Duel or not, I’m always pointing out the best jokes.
Sword fights can be exhausting—too many cutbacks.
I thought fencing would be easy—until I found out I had no point.
The sword was terrible at holding a grudge—it was all about forgiveness, and forging a new path.
Fencing is all fun and games until someone gets sword-ed into a pun.
A true knight’s humor always comes with a rapier wit.
Fencing with me is dangerous—I’ll stab you with my puns.
I’d be a fencing champion if it weren’t for my sword’s sharp tongue.
Fencing is like a comedy show—if you can’t take the point, you’re out.
We dueled to the death—of boredom! That’s how sharp my jokes were.
A good sword fighter knows when to make a cut and when to laugh it off.
The best swordfighters don’t strike—they punish with their wit.
I’ve got the best moves—just ask my sword. It’s always in point.
I tried fencing for a day and realized I wasn’t cut out for it—but I’m sharp with words.
Swordplay may be intense, but you can always unsheath a good pun.

One-Liner Sword Puns That Cut to the Chase

“These sword puns are sharp, quick, and straight to the point—just like a good duel.”

My sword skills are pointless without a sharp joke.
Fencing can be a pain in the side—but at least it’s pun-ishing.
I wouldn’t challenge him to a duel—he’s got a sharp mind and even sharper humor.
When I’m fencing, I’m always looking for that point of no return.
I was going to tell a sword pun, but I thought I’d just cut it short.
Don’t try to best me at sword fighting—I’m a cutting-edge competitor.
Point of no return? That’s where the puns start!
I tried to bring my sword to a comedy show, but it was too sharp for the audience.
The sword’s always got a comeback—it’s edge-ucated.
That knight’s sword jokes were so sharp, I had to sheath my laughter.
He didn’t take the sword fight too seriously—he was just sword of playing around.
I couldn’t join the sword duel—my humor was just too cutting for the others.
They call me the edge of humor—because I never miss the mark!
What do you call a sword that can’t stop making puns? A punish-ment weapon.
My sword tells jokes, but they don’t always cut it with the crowd.
A true swordsman doesn’t just duel—they pun their way to victory.
I’ve got a pun collection longer than the sword in my collection.
My sword doesn’t get rusty—it stays sharp with jokes.
When I duel, I aim for the point—the one that’ll make you laugh.

Legendary Sword Puns Fit for a King

“If swords were comedy, these would be royally hilarious.”

The king’s sword was so funny, they called it Excalibur the Entertainer.
I tried to be knighted, but my puns were too cutting for the ceremony.
The sword was so polished, I thought it could reflect some humor back at me.
Sword jokes are the real crown jewels of the court.
I could’ve won the knight’s tournament—but my sword was too busy telling jokes.
The king asked for a sword that could make him laugh, and the sword slashed the competition.
You don’t need a crown to rule with puns—just a sharp sword and a quick wit.
The sword and I made quite the pair—one sharp, one punny, both ready to rule.
Every knight at the table tried to cut into my jokes, but they always missed the point.
His sword was sharp, but his humor was sharper—he was a true knight of comedy.
The kingdom’s humor was always sword-edged—serious on the outside, hilarious on the inside.
You can’t just wield a sword—make sure it’s got some humor to back it up!
A sword duel’s all about balance—a little bit of swordplay and a lot of humor.
When I asked for a sword, they gave me one with a hilarious edge.
A sword can win battles, but humor wins hearts—just ask the knight with the best jokes.

Epic Sword Puns to Slice Through Boredom

“Ready your swords and prepare to sword through these epic one-liners.”

The knight’s sword was so sharp, it could cut through any awkward silence.
I’ve got a point to make—this sword joke is truly sharp.
The sword duel ended with a cutting remark.
The sword’s nickname? Pointless, but it sure gets the job done!
If swords could talk, mine would always have something sharp to say.
I lost the duel, but I won the pun battle!
You’ve got to be careful around these sword jokes—they cut too close to the truth.
I don’t always duel with swords, but when I do, I prefer sharp humor.
That sword doesn’t just slash—it cuts through all the bad jokes.
Sword fighting and puns—truly a pointed combination.
I was going to enter a duel, but my sword had a punny comeback before I could even swing it.
Every great warrior has a sharp mind and an even sharper sword.
The sword doesn’t care if you laugh—it’s too busy cutting through life.
Why do swords always win duels? Because they always make a point.
I entered the sword fight with confidence—but the puns? They stabbed me in the back.
They say a sword can’t bring peace, but a good pun can slash through any tension.
A knight’s sword is only as strong as its cutting wit.
You’ll never win a duel without a sword that knows how to make a point.
My sword might be sharp, but my puns are sharper.

Final Sword Puns That’ll Leave You Laughing to the End

“These last sword puns are so sharp, they’ll have you doubled over laughing!”

The sword fights in the kingdom were legendary—because they always ended with a cutting remark.
I’m the knight of punny humor—I’m always sword of laughing.
The sword’s blade was fine, but its wit was a cut above the rest.
Want to win a duel? Have a sharp sword and a sharper sense of humor.
Sword-fighting? More like sword laughing—I’ll duel you with my humor.
You can duel with blades, but I’ll win with a pointed pun.
A true warrior knows how to slash their way through puns and battles alike.
When the sword went on vacation, it took some sharp humor with it.
Sword jokes are always the sharpest—they cut through the silence.
This sword doesn’t only cut through air—it slices through the toughest jokes.
Got my sword in hand, ready to fight and slash through some bad puns.
Sword jokes might cut a little deep, but they sure are worth the laugh.
When swords fight, it’s a battle of who can make the sharpest joke.
Don’t bring a dull sword to a pun duel—it won’t stand a cut above the rest.
A sword never backs down from a fight—unless it’s to deliver a good pun.
This duel isn’t over until we’ve had our final sword of laughter.

Sword Puns That Will Leave You in Stitches

So, whether you’re a medieval enthusiast, a fencing fan, or someone who just enjoys sharp humor, these sword puns are here to slice through your day and add a little more laughter to your life.

A good pun is like a well-forged sword—sharp, impactful, and ready to cut through any moment of boredom. With these sword jokes, you’re ready to duel your way through any conversation, one pun at a time!

And remember: in the world of sword puns, there’s always room for more point to be made. So, keep your blades (and your jokes) sharp, and never underestimate the power of humor to slice through even the hardest battles.