*Ever wonder why detectives never play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when they always find the clue.
Just like that pun, this article is stacked with laugh-out-loud detective puns that are criminally clever.
Whether you’re a Sherlock at heart or just love wordplay with a hint of mystery, we’ve gathered puns so funny they might just be under investigation for causing excessive laughter.*
So grab your magnifying glass, dust for some humor prints, and let’s solve the case of “who stole the punchline?”

Classic Detective Puns That Never Get Old
“Elementary, my dear pun-lover.” These classic detective jokes are the prime suspects in every comedy lineup.
- I’m suspicious of stairs — they’re always up to something.
- I detective’d a great time coming!
- This case is full of twists — it’s knot your average mystery.
- I nose a good clue when I smell one.
- No crime here, just pun-ishment.
- You can’t spell “detective” without a few silent letters and loud laughter.
- I told the truth, but my alibi was a bit sketchy.
- You have the right to remain hilarious.
- Case closed—this pun stole the show!
- Clue me in, I’m dying to laugh.
- I sleuthed out the truth—it was hiding in plain pun!
- The mystery of the missing pun? It was right under my syntax.
- Guilty of cracking jokes without a license.
- This humor is so good, it should be illegal.
- Every detective has a pun-ch card for great one-liners.
- The only thing I’m guilty of is laughing at every clue.
- That joke? Totally under surveillance.
- Call me a lie detector—I sense BS and bad puns equally well.
- Let’s arrest the tension with some laughter.
- I’m great at solving puzzles—I’ve got a clue-dependency.
Crime Scene Puns That Kill
- I arrived at the crime scene—it was a real who-done-it-dunit.
- The chalk outline didn’t draw much attention.
- I tripped over a clue—it was a fall guy.
- This mystery stinks—must be a smell-o-dramatic one.
- When the body disappeared, it was a real corpse-out.
- DNA? More like DOA—Dead On Arrival of laughter.
- Blood spatter analysts always make a killing.
- This investigation has legs—it keeps running in circles.
- Fingerprints? I thought we were doing hand-written comedy.
- The victim had a sweet tooth—it was a real candy bar-gone.
- Don’t cross the tape unless you want a pun-itive response.
- Crime scene jokes are all about evidence of wit.
- That clue? It had pun-derprints on it.
- I put the “fun” in forensic fundamentals.
- My puns are like DNA—they’re unique to every joke.
- Scene secured. Puns detected. Proceed with caution.
- You can’t dust off these jokes—they’re sticky with humor.
- I’m chalking this one up to killer comedy.
- That last clue? Dead giveaway.
Mind Games & Mystery Puns for the Puzzle-Lovers
- I’m not saying I’m smart, but I did outwit a Rubik’s cube blindfolded.
- I cracked the code—it said “Tell more puns.”
- The motive? Turns out it was comedy homicide.
- I’d explain the twist, but that would be spoiler alert level felony.
- Mental gymnastics are my cardio.
- The only maze I can’t escape? My own thought patterns.
- I Sherlock’d my way through brunch.
- Watson the deal with all these mysteries?
- I play Clue just for the thrill of being the sus-pun-ct.
- Don’t gaslight me—I’m fluent in emotional evidence.
- Mind if I interrogate your funny bone?
- You can’t puzzle me—I’ve read every plot twist known to pun-kind.
- That riddle? Solved. That joke? Told.
- I cracked the crossword with no clues—just pun-stincts.
- I solved the unsolvable, then misplaced the punchline.
- The true mystery is how I’m still laughing at myself.
Fashionably Funny Detective Puns
- I wear my trench coat like I wear my puns—layered and mysterious.
- Hat’s off to detectives who never lose their brim-posure.
- My magnifying glass makes everything bigger—especially the laughs.
- I accessorize with suspicion and sarcasm.
- These shoes were made for stalking suspects.
- I’d tell you where I got this coat, but that’s classified couture.
- A good detective always looks sharp—and talks daggering puns.
- Undercover? More like overdressed with wit.
- This outfit is a dead giveaway that I’m about to drop a pun.
- I dress for success—and for interrogating your sense of humor.
- My disguise is 90% hat, 10% deadpan delivery.
- Never trust a man in a bowler hat—he’s full of hat-trickery.
- High heels and higher standards for suspects.
- My trench coat has so many pockets—perfect for carrying clues and jokes.
- Just trying to tie up loose ends—with my necktie.
- These sunglasses hide the fact that I’m laughing hysterically inside.
- Dressing like a detective? It’s all about the cloak-and-dagger drip.
- I look criminally good in this outfit.
- Even my fashion has motive.
Lab & Forensics Puns That Are Explosively Funny
- My jokes are under the microscope—and still hold up!
- DNA? Definitely Not Average comedy.
- I’m positive for pun-prints on every punchline.
- Blood spatter is just abstract red humor.
- Forensics is where the science meets the sense of pun.
- I left no pun untested in the lab.
- That hair sample? Full of follicle funnies.
- Crime labs are like comedy clubs—lots of material to work with.
- My sense of humor is toxicology approved.
- These chemical puns? Totally compounding the fun.
- I failed biology but aced pun-ology.
- This mystery’s about to decompose me with laughter.
- I keep my jokes sterile—unless they’re germ-inated.
- I tested the evidence—it came back positive for wit.
- That pun had traces of sarcasm—contaminated, for sure.
- We found hair at the crime scene… it was a hairy situation.
- Chalk outlines? That’s the outline of a killer joke.
- I’m just trying to solve crimes and split sides—equally.
Cop & Interrogation Puns That’ll Have You Cuffed to Laughter
- You’re under arrest—for possession of bad puns.
- I have the right to remain hilarious.
- This joke is being held for questioning.
- That line-up? Guilty of stealing the spotlight.
- I tried to remain silent, but this pun broke me.
- I’m tailing a suspect and a trail of laughter.
- My interrogation technique? Ask a question, drop a pun.
- This stakeout’s got me fried—but still cracking jokes.
- You can’t bribe me unless you offer cookies and clues.
- I followed the evidence—it pointed straight to punchlines.
- I cracked the suspect—it was a yolk-filled confession.
- Detective humor? It’s all about making the suspect giggle.
- I planted the pun—it grew into a full confession.
- My cuffs are fuzzy, like my sense of humor.
- I don’t carry a gun—just a loaded joke book.
- That chase scene? A real run-on sentence.
- This precinct has a zero-tolerance policy for bad vibes only.
- You’re being booked—for comedy-related offenses.
Mystery Lovers’ One-Liners That’ll Keep You Guessing
- I went undercover and found my sense of humor hiding.
- I tried to blend in, but my puns stood out.
- She had a motive, means, and a magnificent punchline.
- My alibi? I was cracking jokes the whole time.
- I broke the case and the ice—with one pun.
- The only mystery I can’t solve is how I’m still single with these puns.
- I love cold cases—they’re chillingly funny.
- My suspects are nervous—I’ve got jokes that kill.
- When the clues dry up, I just hydrate with sarcasm.
- The trail went cold, but my humor stayed hot.
- That riddle was no match for my wordplay.
- Laughter is the best interrogation tactic.
- I have a sixth sense for plot twists and puns.
- No need for backup—I’ve got my pun gun loaded.
- Every crime has a pattern. Mine’s comedy.
Who Done It? You Did—With These Killer Detective Puns
From witty whodunits to trench coat zingers, these puns were armed and hilarious. Whether you’re a crime novel fanatic or just someone who loves decoding a good joke, there’s no denying detective humor is elementary, my dear pun-lover.
Save this post for your next murder mystery party, pun-filled Instagram caption, or just a midweek chuckle session.
And remember—never trust a quiet room or an unpunny detective.